--- title: Establishing Goals and Priorities for Your Divorce Before It Starts description: If you’ve made the decision to get a divorce, this post provides guidance on how to establish this clarity before your divorce proceedings begin. image: https://amf-divorce.com/hubfs/Imported_Blog_Media/qtq80-Ue7fIJ.jpeg --- ## A.M. Financial - [Services](https://amf-divorce.com/divorce-transition-services) - [Service Plan](https://amf-divorce.com/service-plan) - [Frequently Asked Questions](https://amf-divorce.com/frequently-asked-questions) - [Our Blog](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog) - [About Amy](https://amf-divorce.com/about-amy) - [Contact Us](https://amf-divorce.com/contact-us) - [Services](https://amf-divorce.com/divorce-transition-services) - [Services](https://amf-divorce.com/divorce-transition-services) - [Service Plan](https://amf-divorce.com/service-plan) - [Frequently Asked Questions](https://amf-divorce.com/frequently-asked-questions) - [Our Blog](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog) - [About Amy](https://amf-divorce.com/about-amy) - [Contact Us](https://amf-divorce.com/contact-us) [Book a Meeting](https://calendly.com/amymahlenmelander/consultdivorcefinancialplanning) # Establishing Goals and Priorities for Your Divorce Before It Starts February 02, 2024 3 minutes to read If you’ve made the [decision to get a divorce](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/divorce-a-catalyst-for-change), you may wonder where to start the intricate and emotionally-charged process. Beginning with a clear understanding of your goals and priorities can significantly impact the outcomes and ease the journey ahead.  This post provides guidance on how to establish this clarity before your divorce proceedings begin. ## Get Clear on Priorities Uncertainty can complicate the divorce process. If you're unclear about your priorities, it becomes challenging to articulate your needs and negotiate effectively. Taking time to get specific, realistic, and clear-headed about your priorities is pivotal for [successful negotiations](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/filing-for-divorce). Consider using [this worksheet](https://hubs.ly/Q02czkvs0) as a framework to document what’s most important to you during this time, including your priorities around: - [Property](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/property-division-values-part-3-home-equity) - Finances - Children Completing this [before the divorce begins](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/7-tips-if-a-divorce-is-on-the-horizon), during a less [emotional period](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/managing-the-money-crazies-in-divorce-navigating-emotional-turbulence), provides a solid foundation for decision-making. If you can also understand your spouse’s top priorities, you may be able to reach agreements faster. ## Establish Goals Understanding what truly matters to you is key to establishing goals for your [division of property](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/separate-vs-marital-property), investments, debts, and parenting plans. Focus on critical aspects that align with your long-term well-being rather than attempting to attain everything or focusing too much on your short-term needs. For example, while ensuring that your spouse is paying the mortgage this month might be top of mind for you, work with professionals to consider what you need in the parenting plan long-term to ensure your children continue to have a meaningful relationship with both parents.  Take your goals a step further by understanding, to the best of your ability, what each of your goals entails and how you can reach them. For example, if [refinancing](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/what-is-a-loan-assumption) or purchasing a home is your goal post-divorce, understanding requirements for mortgage lending and building a future budget will be important.   By having a few clear goals, you can identify what is non-negotiable and what you're willing to compromise on during [legal negotiations](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/part-1-top-divorce-questions-aninterview-with-rachel-andersonfamily-law-attorney).Working with a [financial professional](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/22-questions-to-ask-a-financial-professional-during-your-divorce)can also help you understand what [long-term financial wins](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/post-divorce-budget-planning-dont-overlook-these-8-items) truly mean and how to balance those with [short-term financial needs](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/four-sources-to-consider-when-restructuring-your-income-post-divorce). ## Align on Strategy  Collaborate with your attorney and other professionals to develop a strategy that aligns with your goals. As mentioned, flexibility is key during negotiations, so craft an approach that emphasizes [deeper interests rather than rigid stances](https://www.divorcemag.com/articles/setting-and-prioritizing-goals-and-interests). For instance, if you are seeking spousal support until your children reach a certain age, [explore alternative ways](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/financial-self-care) to bridge any income gap rather than assuming it's solely your ex-spouse's responsibility. Navigating the complexities of divorce becomes more manageable when you establish clear goals and priorities from the outset. This clarity empowers you to make informed decisions, negotiate effectively, and work towards a future aligned with your long-term vision. By approaching your divorce with clarity and purpose, you pave the way for a more stable and empowered future.To support the process, [use our worksheet](https://hubs.ly/Q02czkvs0) as a starting point for setting and prioritizing your interests during divorce. For more personalized guidance, [reach out to us for a free consultation](https://amf-divorce.com/contact-us). - - - - - [mailto:?subject='https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/establishing-goals-and-priorities-for-your-divorce-before-it-starts'](mailto:?subject='https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/establishing-goals-and-priorities-for-your-divorce-before-it-starts') [Divorce](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/divorce), [Financial Planning](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/financial-planning), [Finances](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/finances), [Divorce Budgeting](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/divorce-budgeting) ### Related Posts ## [What Happens to Joint Accounts, Credit Cards, and Debt in Divorce?](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/what-happens-to-joint-accounts-credit-cards-and-debt-in-divorce) Some of the most common and emotionally charged financial concerns in divorce involve joint... [CONTINUE READING](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/what-happens-to-joint-accounts-credit-cards-and-debt-in-divorce) ## [Post-Divorce Living Arrangements - Should I Rent or Buy?](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/post-divorce-living-arrangements-rent-or-buy) There are so many decisions to make during the divorce process, many of which can impact the... [CONTINUE READING](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/post-divorce-living-arrangements-rent-or-buy) ## [Divorce Season: Key Tasks for Success](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/divorce-season-key-tasks-for-success) Divorce season is upon us. January is the most common time for divorces throughout the year, for... [CONTINUE READING](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/divorce-season-key-tasks-for-success) ### Posts by Tag - [Divorce (59)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/divorce) - [Finances (39)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/finances) - [Divorce Budgeting (33)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/divorce-budgeting) - [Planning (33)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/planning) - [Financial Planning (28)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/financial-planning) - [Budgeting (23)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/budgeting) - [Taxes (20)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/taxes) - [Assets (10)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/assets) - [Retirement Accounts (10)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/retirement-accounts) - [Divorce Options and Methods (9)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/divorce-options-and-methods) - [Maintenance (9)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/maintenance) - [Child Support (8)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/child-support) - [Investments (8)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/investments) - [Retirement (8)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/retirement) - [Property (7)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/property) - [Real Estate (7)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/real-estate) - [Spousal Support (7)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/spousal-support) - [Emotions (6)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/emotions) - [Family (6)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/family) - [Mediation (5)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/mediation) - [Property Division (5)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/property-division) - [Separation (4)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/separation) - [Co-Parenting (3)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/co-parenting) - [Coaching (3)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/coaching) - [Court (3)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/court) - [Estate Planning (3)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/estate-planning) - [Kids (3)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/kids) - [Retirement Planning (3)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/retirement-planning) - [Tips (3)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/tips) - [Counseling (2)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/counseling) - [Home (2)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/home) - [Interest Rates (2)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/interest-rates) - [Lawyer (2)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/lawyer) - [Mediator (2)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/mediator) - [CFI (1)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/cfi) - [College (1)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/college) - [Do It Yourself (1)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/do-it-yourself) - [Gifts (1)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/gifts) - [Healthcare (1)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/healthcare) - [Inflation (1)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/inflation) - [Insurance (1)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/insurance) - [Litigation (1)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/litigation) - [PRE (1)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/pre) - [Remarriage (1)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/remarriage) - [Stock (1)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/stock) - [Stock Market (1)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/stock-market) - [Transfers (1)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/transfers) - [Travel (1)](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/tag/travel) See all ##### About Amy With compassion and patience, Amy focuses on her client’s unique priorities to build a financial road map that provides clarity to make informed decisions today regarding the future. ##### Links - [Home](https://amf-divorce.com) - [Services](https://amf-divorce.com/divorce-transition-services) - [Our Blog](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog) - [About Amy](https://amf-divorce.com/about-amy) - [Contact Us](https://amf-divorce.com/contact-us) - [Schedule a Meeting](https://calendly.com/amymahlenmelander) ©2026 Copyright. All rights reserved. A.M. Financial provides supporting financial information, evaluation and analysis to be utilized by the client and the client’s selected attorney if directed, during the process of their divorce. ervices provided in regards to this agreement are solely fee-only and do not involve investment or security advice or insurance transactions. All information is financial in nature and should not be construed or relied upon as legal or tax advice. A.M. Financial IS NOT AN ATTORNEY AND DOES NOT PROVIDE LEGAL OR TAX ADVICE. Individuals are encouraged to seek competent legal and tax advice from professionals who specialize in divorce and tax laws in their respective state. Amy Melander (CRD #4692263) is an Investment Adviser Representative of OneDigital Investment Advisors, LLC (ODIA). ODIA and A.M. Financial are independent and unaffiliated entities. ODIA does not offer or provide divorce financial planning services and any statements and/or opinions expressed by A.M. Financial do not represent the views and/or opinions of ODIA.   This website is a publication of A.M. Financial. Information presented is believed to be factual and up-to-date, but we do not guarantee its accuracy and it should not be regarded as a complete analysis of the subjects discussed. All expressions of opinion reflect the judgment of the authors as of the date of publication and are subject to change. Content should not be viewed as personalized investment advice or as an offer to buy or sell, or a solicitation of any offer to buy or sell the securities mentioned herein. A professional adviser should be consulted before implementing any of the strategies presented. Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards Inc. owns the certification marks CFP®, CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™, CFP® (with plaque design) and CFP® (with flame design) in the U.S., which it awards to individuals who successfully complete CFP Board’s initial and ongoing certification requirements. ```json { "@context" : "https://schema.org", "@type" : "BlogPosting", "author" : { "@type" : "Person", "name" : "Amy Mahlen", "url" : "https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/author/amy-mahlen" }, "dateModified" : "2024-02-02T15:54:59.334Z", "datePublished" : "2024-02-02T15:54:59.000Z", "headline" : "Establishing Goals and Priorities for Your Divorce Before It Starts", "image" : [ "https://amf-divorce.com/hubfs/Imported_Blog_Media/qtq80-Ue7fIJ.jpeg" ], "mainEntityOfPage" : { "@id" : "https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/establishing-goals-and-priorities-for-your-divorce-before-it-starts", "@type" : "WebPage" }, "publisher" : { "@type" : "Organization", "logo" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "url" : "https://amf-divorce.com/hubfs/amf-divorce-logo.jpg" } } } ``` ```json { "@context" : "http://schema.org", "@type" : "BlogPosting", "articleBody" : "If you’ve made the decision to get a divorce, you may wonder where to start the intricate and emotionally-charged process. Beginning with a clear understanding of your goals and priorities can significantly impact the outcomes and ease the journey ahead. This post provides guidance on how to establish this clarity before your divorce proceedings begin. Get Clear on Priorities Uncertainty can complicate the divorce process. If you're unclear about your priorities, it becomes challenging to articulate your needs and negotiate effectively. Taking time to get specific, realistic, and clear-headed about your priorities is pivotal for successful negotiations. Consider using this worksheet as a framework to document what’s most important to you during this time, including your priorities around: Property Finances Children Completing this before the divorce begins, during a less emotional period, provides a solid foundation for decision-making. If you can also understand your spouse’s top priorities, you may be able to reach agreements faster. Establish Goals Understanding what truly matters to you is key to establishing goals for your division of property, investments, debts, and parenting plans. Focus on critical aspects that align with your long-term well-being rather than attempting to attain everything or focusing too much on your short-term needs. For example, while ensuring that your spouse is paying the mortgage this month might be top of mind for you, work with professionals to consider what you need in the parenting plan long-term to ensure your children continue to have a meaningful relationship with both parents. Take your goals a step further by understanding, to the best of your ability, what each of your goals entails and how you can reach them. For example, if refinancing or purchasing a home is your goal post-divorce, understanding requirements for mortgage lending and building a future budget will be important. By having a few clear goals, you can identify what is non-negotiable and what you're willing to compromise on during legal negotiations.Working with a financial professional can also help you understand what long-term financial wins truly mean and how to balance those with short-term financial needs. Align on Strategy Collaborate with your attorney and other professionals to develop a strategy that aligns with your goals. As mentioned, flexibility is key during negotiations, so craft an approach that emphasizes deeper interests rather than rigid stances. For instance, if you are seeking spousal support until your children reach a certain age, explore alternative ways to bridge any income gap rather than assuming it's solely your ex-spouse's responsibility. Navigating the complexities of divorce becomes more manageable when you establish clear goals and priorities from the outset. This clarity empowers you to make informed decisions, negotiate effectively, and work towards a future aligned with your long-term vision. By approaching your divorce with clarity and purpose, you pave the way for a more stable and empowered future.To support the process, use our worksheet as a starting point for setting and prioritizing your interests during divorce. 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