--- title: Our Blog - AMF Divorce | Counseling description: Counseling | From mortgage professionals to therapists to attorneys, the team at A.M. Financial works closely with these types of professionals. --- ## A.M. Financial - [Services](https://amf-divorce.com/divorce-transition-services) - [Service Plan](https://amf-divorce.com/service-plan) - [Frequently Asked Questions](https://amf-divorce.com/frequently-asked-questions) - [Our Blog](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog) - [About Amy](https://amf-divorce.com/about-amy) - [Contact Us](https://amf-divorce.com/contact-us) - [Services](https://amf-divorce.com/divorce-transition-services) - [Services](https://amf-divorce.com/divorce-transition-services) - [Service Plan](https://amf-divorce.com/service-plan) - [Frequently Asked Questions](https://amf-divorce.com/frequently-asked-questions) - [Our Blog](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog) - [About Amy](https://amf-divorce.com/about-amy) - [Contact Us](https://amf-divorce.com/contact-us) [Book a Meeting](https://calendly.com/amymahlenmelander/consultdivorcefinancialplanning) Posts about # Counseling ## [Managing the 'Money Crazies' in Divorce: Navigating Emotional Turbulence](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/managing-the-money-crazies-in-divorce-navigating-emotional-turbulence) November 10, 2023 Going through a divorce can be emotionally and financially challenging. As you navigate the complexity of ending a marriage, you may notice the emotional rollercoaster that accompanies the process.... [CONTINUE READING](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/managing-the-money-crazies-in-divorce-navigating-emotional-turbulence) ## [Part 1: What is Discernment Counseling and is it Right for Me?](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/discernment-counseling-mahlen-financial) June 01, 2022 If you are considering a divorce, you have lots of options to confirm whether that is the right decision for you and your future. Some people choose to go on a retreat or even a trip with their... [CONTINUE READING](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/discernment-counseling-mahlen-financial) ##### About Amy With compassion and patience, Amy focuses on her client’s unique priorities to build a financial road map that provides clarity to make informed decisions today regarding the future. ##### Links - [Home](https://amf-divorce.com) - [Services](https://amf-divorce.com/divorce-transition-services) - [Our Blog](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog) - [About Amy](https://amf-divorce.com/about-amy) - [Contact Us](https://amf-divorce.com/contact-us) - [Schedule a Meeting](https://calendly.com/amymahlenmelander) ©2026 Copyright. All rights reserved. A.M. Financial provides supporting financial information, evaluation and analysis to be utilized by the client and the client’s selected attorney if directed, during the process of their divorce. ervices provided in regards to this agreement are solely fee-only and do not involve investment or security advice or insurance transactions. All information is financial in nature and should not be construed or relied upon as legal or tax advice. A.M. Financial IS NOT AN ATTORNEY AND DOES NOT PROVIDE LEGAL OR TAX ADVICE. Individuals are encouraged to seek competent legal and tax advice from professionals who specialize in divorce and tax laws in their respective state. Amy Melander (CRD #4692263) is an Investment Adviser Representative of OneDigital Investment Advisors, LLC (ODIA). ODIA and A.M. Financial are independent and unaffiliated entities. ODIA does not offer or provide divorce financial planning services and any statements and/or opinions expressed by A.M. Financial do not represent the views and/or opinions of ODIA.   This website is a publication of A.M. Financial. Information presented is believed to be factual and up-to-date, but we do not guarantee its accuracy and it should not be regarded as a complete analysis of the subjects discussed. All expressions of opinion reflect the judgment of the authors as of the date of publication and are subject to change. Content should not be viewed as personalized investment advice or as an offer to buy or sell, or a solicitation of any offer to buy or sell the securities mentioned herein. A professional adviser should be consulted before implementing any of the strategies presented. Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards Inc. owns the certification marks CFP®, CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™, CFP® (with plaque design) and CFP® (with flame design) in the U.S., which it awards to individuals who successfully complete CFP Board’s initial and ongoing certification requirements. ```json { "@context" : "http://schema.org", "@type" : "BlogPosting", "articleBody" : "Going through a divorce can be emotionally and financially challenging. As you navigate the complexity of ending a marriage, you may notice the emotional rollercoaster that accompanies the process. Emotional reactions can sabotage your financial decisions, leading to choices that may not serve your best interests in the long run. In this blog post, we'll explore six considerations to keep in mind that can help you manage the 'money crazies' during your divorce. Cultivating awareness of your emotional reactions during this time can help you make informed, rational decisions that safeguard your financial future. Self-Awareness is Key Emotions can run high during a divorce, and it's not uncommon to experience feelings of resentment, anger, and impatience. These emotions can lead to abrupt decisions, often driven by a desire for revenge or simply wanting the process to be over with. It’s important to be self-aware and recognize when these emotions cloud your judgement. When you can step out of your emotional reactions, you can prevent decisions made in the heat of the moment that may not be in your long-term financial interest. Seek Support from a Divorce Coach Managing your emotions during a divorce can be incredibly challenging and addressing your emotional needs is key to a fulfilling future post-divorce. While expecting the judicial system to address your emotional needs is unrealistic, a divorce coach can be an invaluable resource, providing emotional guidance and helping you make rational decisions during this tumultuous time. They can help you process feelings of frustration, anger, confusion, and sadness, ensuring that your emotions don't steer you off course financially or emotionally. Don't Let the Process Overwhelm You A divorce is a process that takes time for a reason. Avoid letting it consume your life entirely. Set specific times to focus on your divorce proceedings, and do your best not to let it overwhelm you. Prioritize self-care by reducing stress, spending time with friends and family, engaging in activities you enjoy, exploring new hobbies, and getting adequate sleep. Maintain your overall well-being by working on your emotional health. By identifying opportunities for self-care and committing to healthy habits, you'll be better equipped to handle both the complexities of the divorce and the changes you’ll experience post-divorce. Handle Sensitive Areas with Care Recognize that both you and your spouse may have sensitive areas that need to be addressed during the divorce. Avoid neglecting these issues and consider seeking professional support when necessary. Family therapists, mediators, professionals, or lawyers can help facilitate productive conversations, ensuring that these sensitive topics are addressed without causing further emotional turmoil. Stand Firm Against Threats During a divorce, it's not uncommon for threats or intimidation tactics to be used. Remember that you are in control of your life and your future, as well as your reactions. Your spouse no longer gets to make decisions for you, such as when you’ll move out and where you will live. You are fully in charge of your future and key decisions such as going back to work, how you’ll raise your children, and how you’ll spend money. If you feel as if your former spouse is trying to control you, seek advice from professionals, consult with supportive friends and family, and build a clear plan for your future. Do not let your spouse's threats or desire to control you dictate your actions. Avoid Making Too Many Changes at Once A divorce is already a significant life change. Adding more stressors, such as starting a new job, moving far from your support network, or embarking on a drastic diet, can be overwhelming. Take your time to reflect, heal, and rebuild your life with intention. Implement changes gradually, so you can adapt at your own pace without adding unnecessary stress to an already challenging situation. Divorce is never easy, and managing your emotions during this time is crucial to making sound financial decisions. By being self-aware, seeking support from professionals, and taking steps to protect your emotional well-being, you can navigate the divorce process with greater resilience and ensure that your financial future remains secure. You have the power to shape your own destiny, and with the right support, you can emerge from divorce stronger and ready to embrace a new chapter in your life. At A.M. Financial, we support important aspects of your divorce by working with you to model new budgets, make decisions around maintenance, and wrap up other financial aspects of your settlement. Contact us for a free consultation to learn more about our services.", "author" : { "@type" : "Person", "name" : "Amy Mahlen", "sameAs" : "", "url" : "https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/author/amy-mahlen" }, "dateModified" : "10/11/2023", "datePublished" : "10/11/2023", "headline" : "Managing the 'Money Crazies' in Divorce: Navigating Emotional Turbulence", "image" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "height" : 400, "url" : "https://39875594.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na1.net/hubfs/39875594/Imported_Blog_Media/qtq80-UUhAvS-1536x1024.jpeg", "width" : 750 }, "mainEntityOfPage" : "https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/managing-the-money-crazies-in-divorce-navigating-emotional-turbulence", "publisher" : { "@type" : "Organization", "logo" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "url" : "" }, "name" : "A.M. Financial", "url" : "amf-divorce.com" } } ``` ```json { "@context" : "http://schema.org", "@type" : "BlogPosting", "articleBody" : "If you are considering a divorce, you have lots of options to confirm whether that is the right decision for you and your future. Some people choose to go on a retreat or even a trip with their spouse to talk through the right path and next steps. Other couples attempt marriage counseling for a length of time to try and validate their feelings and inclinations about the marriage. Other people might stay in limbo far too long, worried about how the decision to get divorced could impact their families, finances, friends, and future. One approach you can explore, if you aren’t 100% sure whether you want a divorce, is Discernment Counseling. In this post, we outline what Discernment Counseling is and who is a right fit for this methodology. What is Discernment Counseling? Discernment Counseling is a step between couples counseling and divorce with the goal of helping a couple or individual decide if they truly want to go through with a divorce, or take other steps to repair their marriage. Discernment counseling can be for a couple or an individual. Oftentimes, individuals who go through Discernment Counseling have struggled with the decision to get a divorce for a long time. They value getting insight from a professional who works with those contemplating divorce regularly, and someone who can provide additional context on the in and outs of the divorce process—as well as post-divorce life. The outcome of Discernment Counseling is a “go” or “no-go” decision about divorce. If a couple chooses not to move forward with the divorce, typically they commit to at least six months of counseling to address and overcome their unmet needs and communication challenges that are causing issues in the relationship. How Does it Differ From Traditional Counseling? Marriage counseling tends to get at the root of the issues in the relationship whereas Discernment Counseling helps a couple or individual make a decision to either move forward with a divorce or commit to further couples counseling. Usually, Discernment Counseling includes a counselor spending time with each party individually, as well as together, to understand whether: They want to be married in general They want to be married to their partner The why or why not of their decision Discernment counseling is typically 1-5 sessions that are 90-120-minutes in length. It is a relatively inexpensive way to validate whether you are making a really expensive mistake (both emotionally and financially) by divorcing if the relationship is repairable. The goal of the Discernment Counseling sessions is making a definitive decision about a relationship while marriage counseling’s goal is to improve the health of the relationship over a longer time frame. Who is a Good Fit for Discernment Counseling? Discernment Counseling is a great fit for individuals or couples who are even slightly ambivalent about the right next steps in their marriage. If there is any desire or inclination to save the marriage, Discernment Counseling can help a couple choose the right path. Discernment Counseling is appropriate for individuals or couples that are: At a standstill in their relationship Unsure whether they can fix their problems On different pages about their marriage Are talking about divorce It’s important to take this step early if you want to save your marriage. Often couples use Discernment Counseling, marriage counseling, and therapy as a last resort and the hurt runs too deep to fix at that point, and there is often too little hope left. Addressing unmet needs and poor communication in a marriage when things are just starting to get off track helps save many marriages. Like a check engine light that comes on in your car, knowing the warning signs of unmet needs and not ignoring them prevents both cars and marriages from falling apart. By going through the process of Discernment Counseling, clients report feeling more sure of their decision to stay or go in their marriage, less guilt, and lower levels of remorse. Couples find that this type of counseling validates their decision and helps them feel more confident about their future. In Colorado, one of the most experienced discernment counseling professionals is Deb Daufeldt of New Chapter Solutions. Deb has used her expertise to help hundreds of clients transition to new chapters of their relationships and lives through her private online counseling practice. If you are ready to learn more about how Discernment Counseling can help you make a decision about your marriage, contact Deb Daufeldt of New Chapter Solutions to learn more about how her work can support your needs through a complementary 20-minute evaluation. Deb often works with the team at A.M. Financial to provide a comprehensive picture of what divorce will look like, from the emotional to the financial side of this life transition. Check out part two of this post where we explore the dynamics of finances in divorce and how they come up in Discernment Counseling sessions.", "author" : { "@type" : "Person", "name" : "Amy Mahlen", "sameAs" : "", "url" : "https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/author/amy-mahlen" }, "dateModified" : "01/06/2022", "datePublished" : "01/06/2022", "headline" : "Part 1: What is Discernment Counseling and is it Right for Me?", "image" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "height" : 400, "url" : "https://cdn2.hubspot.net/hubfs/39875594/Imported_Blog_Media/qtq80-PgVmgw.jpeg", "width" : 750 }, "mainEntityOfPage" : "https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/discernment-counseling-mahlen-financial", "publisher" : { "@type" : "Organization", "logo" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "url" : "" }, "name" : "A.M. Financial", "url" : "amf-divorce.com" } } ```