--- title: Our Blog - AMF Divorce | Emotions description: Emotions | From mortgage professionals to therapists to attorneys, the team at A.M. Financial works closely with these types of professionals. --- ## A.M. Financial - [Services](https://amf-divorce.com/divorce-transition-services) - [Service Plan](https://amf-divorce.com/service-plan) - [Frequently Asked Questions](https://amf-divorce.com/frequently-asked-questions) - [Our Blog](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog) - [About Amy](https://amf-divorce.com/about-amy) - [Contact Us](https://amf-divorce.com/contact-us) - [Services](https://amf-divorce.com/divorce-transition-services) - [Services](https://amf-divorce.com/divorce-transition-services) - [Service Plan](https://amf-divorce.com/service-plan) - [Frequently Asked Questions](https://amf-divorce.com/frequently-asked-questions) - [Our Blog](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog) - [About Amy](https://amf-divorce.com/about-amy) - [Contact Us](https://amf-divorce.com/contact-us) [Book a Meeting](https://calendly.com/amymahlenmelander/consultdivorcefinancialplanning) Posts about # Emotions ## [Separating Emotion From Money in Divorce](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/separating-emotion-from-money-in-divorce) January 02, 2026 Divorce is rarely about just money. It’s about trust, fear, grief, anger, and uncertainty for the future. Yet, at the same time, it *is* also about money: how it’s divided, how income is handled, and... [CONTINUE READING](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/separating-emotion-from-money-in-divorce) ## [Should I Move Out Before Filing for Divorce? A Financial Perspective](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/should-i-move-out-before-filing-for-divorce-a-financial-perspective) March 03, 2025 One of the questions I hear as a [Certified Divorce Financial Analyst](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/certified-financial-divorce-analyst-a-m-financial) (CDFA) is, “Should I move out before filing for divorce?” It’s an understandable concern as tensions at home may be high, and you... [CONTINUE READING](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/should-i-move-out-before-filing-for-divorce-a-financial-perspective) ## [Are You Being Bullied in Your Divorce? Here’s What to Do.](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/are-you-being-bullied-in-your-divorce-heres-what-to-do) December 04, 2024 Divorce can often feel like a journey through the unknown, and for many people. It’s a time of heightened tension and emotional strain. This is especially true around the [holidays and post-holidays](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/preparing-for-divorce-during-the-holidays-making-smart-financial-decisions)... [CONTINUE READING](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/are-you-being-bullied-in-your-divorce-heres-what-to-do) ## [Successful Mediation Negotiation: 4 Things to Prioritize](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/successful-mediation-negotiation-4-things-to-prioritize) April 05, 2024 Although you likely hear about the dramatic divorce cases that end up in court, the reality is that only around 5% of divorce cases go to court and settle with a judge. Depending upon the complexity... [CONTINUE READING](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/successful-mediation-negotiation-4-things-to-prioritize) ## [Managing the 'Money Crazies' in Divorce: Navigating Emotional Turbulence](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/managing-the-money-crazies-in-divorce-navigating-emotional-turbulence) November 10, 2023 Going through a divorce can be emotionally and financially challenging. As you navigate the complexity of ending a marriage, you may notice the emotional rollercoaster that accompanies the process.... [CONTINUE READING](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/managing-the-money-crazies-in-divorce-navigating-emotional-turbulence) ## [7 Tips if a Divorce is on the Horizon](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/7-tips-if-a-divorce-is-on-the-horizon) February 07, 2023 **What do you need to know if a divorce is possible in your future?  Regardless of which path your relationship goes, here are seven helpful tips to be aware of:** **1. Seek the RIGHT Advice for YOU** ... [CONTINUE READING](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/7-tips-if-a-divorce-is-on-the-horizon) ##### About Amy With compassion and patience, Amy focuses on her client’s unique priorities to build a financial road map that provides clarity to make informed decisions today regarding the future. ##### Links - [Home](https://amf-divorce.com) - [Services](https://amf-divorce.com/divorce-transition-services) - [Our Blog](https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog) - [About Amy](https://amf-divorce.com/about-amy) - [Contact Us](https://amf-divorce.com/contact-us) - [Schedule a Meeting](https://calendly.com/amymahlenmelander) ©2026 Copyright. All rights reserved. A.M. Financial provides supporting financial information, evaluation and analysis to be utilized by the client and the client’s selected attorney if directed, during the process of their divorce. ervices provided in regards to this agreement are solely fee-only and do not involve investment or security advice or insurance transactions. All information is financial in nature and should not be construed or relied upon as legal or tax advice. A.M. Financial IS NOT AN ATTORNEY AND DOES NOT PROVIDE LEGAL OR TAX ADVICE. Individuals are encouraged to seek competent legal and tax advice from professionals who specialize in divorce and tax laws in their respective state. Amy Melander (CRD #4692263) is an Investment Adviser Representative of OneDigital Investment Advisors, LLC (ODIA). ODIA and A.M. Financial are independent and unaffiliated entities. ODIA does not offer or provide divorce financial planning services and any statements and/or opinions expressed by A.M. Financial do not represent the views and/or opinions of ODIA.   This website is a publication of A.M. Financial. Information presented is believed to be factual and up-to-date, but we do not guarantee its accuracy and it should not be regarded as a complete analysis of the subjects discussed. All expressions of opinion reflect the judgment of the authors as of the date of publication and are subject to change. Content should not be viewed as personalized investment advice or as an offer to buy or sell, or a solicitation of any offer to buy or sell the securities mentioned herein. A professional adviser should be consulted before implementing any of the strategies presented. Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards Inc. owns the certification marks CFP®, CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™, CFP® (with plaque design) and CFP® (with flame design) in the U.S., which it awards to individuals who successfully complete CFP Board’s initial and ongoing certification requirements. ```json { "@context" : "http://schema.org", "@type" : "BlogPosting", "articleBody" : "Divorce is rarely about just money. It’s about trust, fear, grief, anger, and uncertainty for the future. Yet, at the same time, it is also about money: how it’s divided, how income is handled, and how each person will move forward financially. As a financial professional working with people during divorce, I see how often emotional pain and financial decisions become intertwined, and how costly that combination can be. Separating emotion from money doesn’t mean ignoring your feelings. It means recognizing them without letting them run your financial life. When emotions drive financial decisions, people are more likely to make choices they later regret. When money is handled thoughtfully, people protect their future and their peace of mind. Why Emotions Run So High Around Money Money is never just money in a marriage. It can represent power, security, freedom, self-worth, and fear. When a relationship ends, those emotions don’t disappear, and they often intensify. A bank account can turn into a symbol of betrayal. A retirement account can feel like injustice or punishment. The house can feel like safety or loss. These emotional attachments are completely human. But they can complicate negotiations when financial decisions start becoming emotional battlegrounds rather than practical solutions. Wanting to “win” an asset, refusing to compromise, or making choices to punish the other person often creates outcomes that damage long-term financial stability. The Cost of Emotional Decision-Making When emotion drives financial decisions, the cost shows up in clear patterns: Fighting over assets that carry emotional weight but little financial value Rejecting reasonable settlements out of anger or mistrust Overspending on legal fees to pursue small financial gains Making investment decisions based on fear rather than strategy Agreeing to short-term comfort that leads to long-term hardship Financial decisions made in emotional moments often feel satisfying in the moment but painful in hindsight. A settlement should support your future, and not reflect the worst moments of your past. Creating Emotional Distance From Financial Choices You don’t have to feel neutral to make neutral decisions. What you need is perspective, structure, and support. Working with a financial professional during divorce helps introduce objectivity into a process that often feels overwhelming. By shifting the conversation from “What does this mean emotionally?” to “What does this mean financially?” clients gain clarity. Instead of focusing on the symbolism of an account or asset, we focus on sustainability, cash flow, retirement readiness, and long-term security. Some practical ways to create distance include: Viewing assets in terms of function, not symbolism Evaluating settlements by future impact, not current emotion Considering tax consequences, not just dollar amounts Running projections instead of relying on hope or fear Building scenarios to understand trade-offs before deciding When financial decisions are grounded in data and planning, people regain a sense of control, even when everything else feels uncertain. The Goal Isn’t Fairness; It is Stability Many people enter divorce focused on what feels fair. But emotional fairness doesn’t always align with financial stability. A settlement that looks even on paper may not produce equal outcomes over time. What matters is whether the agreement actually works for your income, your expenses, your goals, and your future. A strong financial plan helps answer hard questions: Can you afford to keep the house? Will support truly meet your needs? What happens when support ends? Are you set up for retirement? Will this agreement allow you to move forward, or just survive? These aren’t emotional questions. They are life-design questions. Moving Forward With Clarity Divorce will always be emotionally charged. But your financial future doesn’t have to be built on emotional decisions. When money is approached with strategy instead of reaction, divorce becomes not just an ending but a foundation for a new beginning. With guidance, objectivity, and a plan, it becomes possible to separate what you’re feeling from what you’re deciding. And often, making wise financial decisions is one of the most empowering ways to regain stability and confidence after divorce. If you’re struggling to untangle the emotional and financial sides of divorce, working with a financial professional who understands both can help bring clarity and calm into the process. You don’t have to do this alone and you don’t have to let today’s pain define tomorrow’s security. Contact us to learn more.", "author" : { "@type" : "Person", "name" : "Amy Mahlen", "sameAs" : "", "url" : "https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/author/amy-mahlen" }, "dateModified" : "02/01/2026", "datePublished" : "02/01/2026", "headline" : "Separating Emotion From Money in Divorce", "image" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "height" : 400, "url" : "https://39875594.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na1.net/hubfs/39875594/Imported_Blog_Media/qtq80-nwwbKM-1536x1011.jpeg", "width" : 750 }, "mainEntityOfPage" : "https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/separating-emotion-from-money-in-divorce", "publisher" : { "@type" : "Organization", "logo" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "url" : "" }, "name" : "A.M. Financial", "url" : "amf-divorce.com" } } ``` ```json { "@context" : "http://schema.org", "@type" : "BlogPosting", "articleBody" : "One of the questions I hear as a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) is, “Should I move out before filing for divorce?” It’s an understandable concern as tensions at home may be high, and you might be eager to establish physical and emotional distance. However, moving out prematurely can have significant financial and legal implications that should be carefully considered before deciding. In this post, we answer top questions related to the decision to leave your marital home. Financial and Legal Considerations Affording two households Divorce is expensive, and maintaining two households instead of one can strain your finances. Before moving out, take a close look at your income, expenses, and available assets. Will you need to pay rent or a mortgage on a new place while still contributing to the marital home? Will your spouse be able to cover household expenses, or could this impact future negotiations? A financial analysis can help you determine whether moving out is financially feasible. Impact on property and asset division Leaving the marital home doesn’t mean you forfeit your ownership interest, but it can complicate matters therefore is always best to discuss with legal counsel. However, complexities that could arise include possibilities such as if you leave and your spouse continues paying the mortgage, they may later argue they should receive a larger share of the home’s equity. Additionally, if you move out and stop contributing to household expenses, could a court take that into account when dividing assets. Temporary vs. permanent financial arrangements Until final agreements or orders have been made regarding your case, temporary financial expectations may be necessary related to expenses of the marital home and/or financial stability for the other party. Addressing temporary needs in the interrum that may require continual contributions to mortgage payments, utilities, or support payments before finalizing the divorce settlement is essential for a smooth transition. Understanding these potential obligations in advance can help you plan accordingly. Custody and parenting time considerations If you have children, it is important to discuss any possible legal considerations this could have in regard to custody and parenting time with your attorney. If you want to maintain the parenting time available to you, it is important that your alternate living arrangements meet the children’s needs. Such considerations include personal space for the child(ren), furnishings and toys that the child(ren) needs, social needs, and being in close proximity to schools, friends, and activities. Overall, choosing an alternative living arrangement that minimizes interruptions to the children is important. Possession of the home during the divorce In some cases, the spouse who remains in the home may feel a sense of first choice in attempting to keep the home long-term. If your spouse stays and you move out, they may later argue that they should keep the home permanently. Additionally, re-entering the home once you’ve left could become more logistically complicated. Domestic abuse and safety considerations If there are concerns about domestic abuse or safety, moving out may be the best option, regardless of financial implications. In such cases, seeking a protective order or temporary spousal support order may be necessary to ensure your safety and financial stability. Alternatives to Moving Out If tensions at home are high, but you’re concerned about the financial and legal consequences of moving out, consider these alternatives: Create a separation agreement or temporary agreements/orders: If you and your spouse can agree on terms, you may be able to live separately under the same roof while working through the divorce process. Agree to a collaborative divorce process or mediation: These options can help reduce conflict, sort through finances, and make living arrangements more manageable. Seek legal guidance: An attorney can provide specific advice on how moving out may impact your case. Moving out before filing for divorce might seem like the easiest solution in the short term, but it can have lasting financial and legal consequences. Before making a decision, consider the potential impact on your finances, custody arrangements, and legal standing. Consulting with a CDFA and an attorney can help you develop a strategy that protects your financial future while navigating the complexities of divorce. If you’re facing this decision and need financial guidance, don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m here to help you make informed choices for your financial future.", "author" : { "@type" : "Person", "name" : "Amy Mahlen", "sameAs" : "", "url" : "https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/author/amy-mahlen" }, "dateModified" : "03/03/2025", "datePublished" : "03/03/2025", "headline" : "Should I Move Out Before Filing for Divorce? A Financial Perspective", "image" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "height" : 400, "url" : "https://39875594.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na1.net/hubfs/39875594/Imported_Blog_Media/qtq80-UjGEIZ.jpeg", "width" : 750 }, "mainEntityOfPage" : "https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/should-i-move-out-before-filing-for-divorce-a-financial-perspective", "publisher" : { "@type" : "Organization", "logo" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "url" : "" }, "name" : "A.M. Financial", "url" : "amf-divorce.com" } } ``` ```json { "@context" : "http://schema.org", "@type" : "BlogPosting", "articleBody" : "Divorce can often feel like a journey through the unknown, and for many people. It’s a time of heightened tension and emotional strain. This is especially true around the holidays and post-holidays when stress levels are high, and emotions run deep. During this “divorce season” these pressures can sometimes manifest as bullying behavior from an ex-spouse, making an already difficult process and time of year even more challenging. As a financial professional, I’ve seen how bullying during divorce can leave long-lasting emotional and financial scars. Recognizing these behaviors early and knowing how to respond can make a significant difference in both your emotional and financial future. What Does Divorce Bullying Look Like? Divorce bullying can involve manipulative, controlling, or coercive behavior designed to intimidate or pressure you into unfavorable decisions. Some common examples include: Refusing to disclose financial information: Your ex may hide assets or refuse to be transparent, making it difficult to negotiate fairly. Pressuring you to agree prematurely: Your ex-spouse may push for quick settlements that aren't in your best interest. Threatening custody battles: Your former spouse might attempt to use your children as leverage to manipulate you. Threatening financial retaliation: He or she may claim they won’t pay child support or maintenance. General intimidation: They may try and make you feel guilty or irrational for seeking a fair outcome. This might look like discouraging you from hiring legal representation or getting financial assistance. These tactics can rattle your confidence and conflict with your efforts to negotiate toward a fair divorce decree. How Does Divorce Bullying Affect You? Emotionally, bullying triggers stress, anxiety, and self-doubt, making it hard to focus on what’s important. From a financial perspective, bullying can make you feel pressure to settle quickly or make uninformed decisions can lead to long-term financial harm. Prolonged bullying can also derail the divorce timeline, resulting in repeated delays and frustration. This can lead to a more expensive and emotionally draining divorce process. Lastly, bullying can reduce your self-confidence at a time when you need strength to reimagine your life. Bullying can undermine your sense of independence and make you question your vision for the future. Ways to Protect Yourself from Bullying in Divorce There are many ways to protect yourself from bullying and they require a strong support system. These include: Staying firm in your decisions and timelines: Avoid being swayed by pressure or threats. Demanding transparency and fair treatment: Understand laws regarding financial disclosure and child custody so you can advocate for yourself confidently. Letting your professionals handle communications: Reduce emotional reactions by having your attorney to communicate on your behalf. Using court-supported tools: Platforms like *Talking Parents* create admissible records of conversations, reducing coercive communication. Standing your ground: Believe that you deserve fair treatment and don’t let intimidation dictate your choices. Building a professional support system: Engage a team of legal, financial, and divorce experts to protect your interests. Leaning on your personal support network: Family, friends, coaches, and therapists can provide the emotional resilience you need. Steps to Take If You’re Being Bullied in Your Divorce If you are experiencing some of the behaviors discussed in this post, there are things you can do to protect yourself in the case that the bullying continues to escalate. First, document everything and keep detailed records of threats, conversations, and other incidents. Leaning on your divorce team, like coaches, financial planners, and attorneys can reinforce your boundaries and strengthen your case. Lastly, avoid rushing decisions and don’t give into pressure. Triple-check that all information is on the table before making decisions about your future. Divorce bullying is difficult, but it can be managed and overcome with the right mindset and support system. Lean on your professional and personal team for guidance, protection, and encouragement, especially during the holidays. Our team is here to help you navigate this challenging time with financial clarity and confidence. Contact us to learn more about how we can support you during this time.", "author" : { "@type" : "Person", "name" : "Amy Mahlen", "sameAs" : "", "url" : "https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/author/amy-mahlen" }, "dateModified" : "04/12/2024", "datePublished" : "04/12/2024", "headline" : "Are You Being Bullied in Your Divorce? Here’s What to Do.", "image" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "height" : 400, "url" : "https://39875594.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na1.net/hubfs/39875594/Imported_Blog_Media/qtq80-uCY19b.jpeg", "width" : 750 }, "mainEntityOfPage" : "https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/are-you-being-bullied-in-your-divorce-heres-what-to-do", "publisher" : { "@type" : "Organization", "logo" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "url" : "" }, "name" : "A.M. Financial", "url" : "amf-divorce.com" } } ``` ```json { "@context" : "http://schema.org", "@type" : "BlogPosting", "articleBody" : "Although you likely hear about the dramatic divorce cases that end up in court, the reality is that only around 5% of divorce cases go to court and settle with a judge. Depending upon the complexity of your case, the professionals you choose to work with, and the method of divorce you choose, odds are high that you’ll likely find yourself participating in mediation. Meditation can be a great tool to help facilitate settlement and is often required before a court will hear a case in Colorado. However, because many couples choose to have their legal counsel present, in addition to mediator fees, the cost for the mediation session can quickly add up. This article addresses what you can do to support a productive mediation session, and ways to reach amicable agreements with a well-organized plan. By focusing on key elements, establishing goals, committing to constructive discussions, and attending with the right mindset, mediation can empower both you and your spouse to design an ideal post-divorce life. Do your homework Thorough preparation is key to ensuring informed decisions in mediation and lays the groundwork for productive dialogue. This includes gathering necessary paperwork, speaking with divorce professionals (such as mortgage lenders and financial planners), and gathering information on everything from employee compensation and benefits, to post-divorce health insurance, and having a solid understanding of where various issues stand from a legal perspective. By spending time in one-on-one consultations with other professionals, you’ll be better equipped with the information you need to both understand and negotiate toward your desired outcomes. Being proactive not only makes your mediation session more efficient, it also empowers you to navigate discussions with confidence and clarity. Prepare emotionally The divorce process can often feel like an emotional rollercoaster. That’s why emotionally preparing for mediation is key to it’s success. This involves recognizing the difference between personal desires and objective interests. The former position is personally rationale and emotional and can be difficult to change. In contrast, interest-based objective negotiating outlines facts, needs, and reasons to consider another position, allowing individuals to approach discussions with a more flexible mindset, oftentimes leading to compromise. In addition, when you refrain from making decisions or judgments on behalf of your former spouse during meditation, you shift away from joint decision-making and typical marital dynamics. Instead, you move toward a post-divorce world in which you see and honor one another’s autonomy. By recognizing these principles, you can navigate mediation with greater emotional resilience and a collaborative spirit, paving the way for mutually satisfactory outcomes. Connecting with a divorce coach can also help support the emotional aspects of this process. Set Goals Setting goals for your session, and even asking your ex-spouse for input on the goals, helps everyone navigate the process with purpose. Outlining priorities and objectives frames the session with direction and focus. Once you accept that you will not get everything you need or want, it’s easier to stay focused on the most important items. During the session, you can also pause and reassess objectives as discussions unfold, adapting to unexpected changes or compromises. Being proactive in this way empowers parties to advocate for their needs and priorities, and promotes a more efficient and productive experience overall. Complete your parenting plan first Once you finally start your mediation sessions, work to complete your parenting plan first. This lays the foundation for the well-being of your children, which is far more important than dividing marital assets. Having your parenting plan confirmed can help you start to visualize your post-divorce life and could make other decisions easier. Not to mention, prioritizing this aspect of your agreement can result in more harmony for all involved, which can be helpful in reaching subsequent agreements. Assuming both parties are negotiating in the best interest of the children, completing the parenting plan first can set a positive tone for the overall mediation process. Successful mediation hinges on a strategic approach that prioritizes key elements to navigate the complexities of divorce with clarity and purpose. Mediation provides an opportunity to reach amicale agreements with the right support and guidance. With thorough preparation, emotional awareness, goal-setting and prioritizing the completion of the parenting plan, parties can reach mutually satisfactory outcomes. By embracing these tools, mediation becomes an opportunity to forge a new post-divorce path forward with confidence and resilience. Contact us to learn how we can support the financial aspects in preparation for mediating your divorce.", "author" : { "@type" : "Person", "name" : "Amy Mahlen", "sameAs" : "", "url" : "https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/author/amy-mahlen" }, "dateModified" : "05/04/2024", "datePublished" : "05/04/2024", "headline" : "Successful Mediation Negotiation: 4 Things to Prioritize", "image" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "height" : 400, "url" : "https://39875594.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na1.net/hubfs/39875594/Imported_Blog_Media/qtq80-M9uR5o.jpeg", "width" : 750 }, "mainEntityOfPage" : "https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/successful-mediation-negotiation-4-things-to-prioritize", "publisher" : { "@type" : "Organization", "logo" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "url" : "" }, "name" : "A.M. Financial", "url" : "amf-divorce.com" } } ``` ```json { "@context" : "http://schema.org", "@type" : "BlogPosting", "articleBody" : "Going through a divorce can be emotionally and financially challenging. As you navigate the complexity of ending a marriage, you may notice the emotional rollercoaster that accompanies the process. Emotional reactions can sabotage your financial decisions, leading to choices that may not serve your best interests in the long run. In this blog post, we'll explore six considerations to keep in mind that can help you manage the 'money crazies' during your divorce. Cultivating awareness of your emotional reactions during this time can help you make informed, rational decisions that safeguard your financial future. Self-Awareness is Key Emotions can run high during a divorce, and it's not uncommon to experience feelings of resentment, anger, and impatience. These emotions can lead to abrupt decisions, often driven by a desire for revenge or simply wanting the process to be over with. It’s important to be self-aware and recognize when these emotions cloud your judgement. When you can step out of your emotional reactions, you can prevent decisions made in the heat of the moment that may not be in your long-term financial interest. Seek Support from a Divorce Coach Managing your emotions during a divorce can be incredibly challenging and addressing your emotional needs is key to a fulfilling future post-divorce. While expecting the judicial system to address your emotional needs is unrealistic, a divorce coach can be an invaluable resource, providing emotional guidance and helping you make rational decisions during this tumultuous time. They can help you process feelings of frustration, anger, confusion, and sadness, ensuring that your emotions don't steer you off course financially or emotionally. Don't Let the Process Overwhelm You A divorce is a process that takes time for a reason. Avoid letting it consume your life entirely. Set specific times to focus on your divorce proceedings, and do your best not to let it overwhelm you. Prioritize self-care by reducing stress, spending time with friends and family, engaging in activities you enjoy, exploring new hobbies, and getting adequate sleep. Maintain your overall well-being by working on your emotional health. By identifying opportunities for self-care and committing to healthy habits, you'll be better equipped to handle both the complexities of the divorce and the changes you’ll experience post-divorce. Handle Sensitive Areas with Care Recognize that both you and your spouse may have sensitive areas that need to be addressed during the divorce. Avoid neglecting these issues and consider seeking professional support when necessary. Family therapists, mediators, professionals, or lawyers can help facilitate productive conversations, ensuring that these sensitive topics are addressed without causing further emotional turmoil. Stand Firm Against Threats During a divorce, it's not uncommon for threats or intimidation tactics to be used. Remember that you are in control of your life and your future, as well as your reactions. Your spouse no longer gets to make decisions for you, such as when you’ll move out and where you will live. You are fully in charge of your future and key decisions such as going back to work, how you’ll raise your children, and how you’ll spend money. If you feel as if your former spouse is trying to control you, seek advice from professionals, consult with supportive friends and family, and build a clear plan for your future. Do not let your spouse's threats or desire to control you dictate your actions. Avoid Making Too Many Changes at Once A divorce is already a significant life change. Adding more stressors, such as starting a new job, moving far from your support network, or embarking on a drastic diet, can be overwhelming. Take your time to reflect, heal, and rebuild your life with intention. Implement changes gradually, so you can adapt at your own pace without adding unnecessary stress to an already challenging situation. Divorce is never easy, and managing your emotions during this time is crucial to making sound financial decisions. By being self-aware, seeking support from professionals, and taking steps to protect your emotional well-being, you can navigate the divorce process with greater resilience and ensure that your financial future remains secure. You have the power to shape your own destiny, and with the right support, you can emerge from divorce stronger and ready to embrace a new chapter in your life. At A.M. Financial, we support important aspects of your divorce by working with you to model new budgets, make decisions around maintenance, and wrap up other financial aspects of your settlement. Contact us for a free consultation to learn more about our services.", "author" : { "@type" : "Person", "name" : "Amy Mahlen", "sameAs" : "", "url" : "https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/author/amy-mahlen" }, "dateModified" : "10/11/2023", "datePublished" : "10/11/2023", "headline" : "Managing the 'Money Crazies' in Divorce: Navigating Emotional Turbulence", "image" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "height" : 400, "url" : "https://39875594.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na1.net/hubfs/39875594/Imported_Blog_Media/qtq80-UUhAvS-1536x1024.jpeg", "width" : 750 }, "mainEntityOfPage" : "https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/managing-the-money-crazies-in-divorce-navigating-emotional-turbulence", "publisher" : { "@type" : "Organization", "logo" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "url" : "" }, "name" : "A.M. Financial", "url" : "amf-divorce.com" } } ``` ```json { "@context" : "http://schema.org", "@type" : "BlogPosting", "articleBody" : "What do you need to know if a divorce is possible in your future? Regardless of which path your relationship goes, here are seven helpful tips to be aware of: 1. Seek the RIGHT Advice for YOU Not all advice is best for your situation. Relationships are different, and all divorce experiences are unique. Be sure to take friend’s and family’s advice with the grain of salt. Not all divorce professionals are aligned with your priorities regarding your changing relationship with your spouse and therefore what you need. Some attorneys excel at litigating divorce which can cause more conflict yet provide the highest level of protection for those who require that level of representation. Make sure to research divorce methods, the pro’s and con’s of each option, and what is best suited for you before moving forward (refer to Divorce Methods & Options here). Research and interview qualified professional who align with the method that best suites you and provides the qualified services you require. The following are a list of professionals available to help you: Attorney Collaborative Attorney Mediator Financial Divorce Analyst Divorce Coach Counselor (or Collaborative Facilitator) Is a Divorce in Your Future? Get Prepared with These Essential Tips. 2. Gather and Organize Financial Information Regardless of where your future is headed, it is extremely important to be aware of your finances. If at all possible, locate financial documentation titled in either you or your spouse’s name. The more organized you are, the more you will be able to utilize time with professionals, know what should be monitored and move forward more easily if things progress. If things do not proceed to divorce, you will now be a more informed and accountable partner. Here is a list of items to prepare: Bank Statements Business Statements (assets, debts, income and expenses) Retirement Account Statements Investment Account Statements Private Investment Contracts Debt Statements (credit cards, car loans, mortgages, student loans, etc) Pay Stubs or other income documentation (W-2s, 1099s, check copies, etc) Income Tax Returns (past 3 years) List of assets and debts brought into marriage (and respective values at the time) Business Balance Sheet and Profit and Loss reports Credit report (to ensure all debt is accurate and protect sources) Other additional documentation maybe required as your case moves forward. If you do not have access to this information and a divorce is initiated, your spouse will be court ordered to provide you with all financial information. 3. Establish a Separate Bank Account and Credit Card In the event you and your spouse are not seeing eye to eye and you require funds to hire an attorney or make a deposit on a new living arrangement, it is critical to have funds available to access either through a checking account or available credit. If a spouse has already filed for divorce it is important to make sure to disclose any new accounts to your spouse and it’s purpose to provide transparency. It is never advised to open an account to try and hide money. Seeking legal counsel before making these changes is always recommended. 4. Track Current and Future Anticipated Expenses Understanding your current financial obligations (expenses) versus total household income will help you and your support team map what you need in the future. Staying current all debt and expenses during this time should be a high priority even if it means only paying required minimums. Minimize expenditures as best as possible to prepare for additional expenses such as professional fees and alternative housing costs. 5. Set Priorities & Establish Boundaries Everyone hopes for an amicable divorce. The reality is that sometimes as much as we try to keep things cordial, sometimes escalated conflict is out of our control. It is important to start with firm boundaries and be willing to compromise. To avoid getting stuck on one issue, be aware of your priorities regarding the divorce and refocus often (write down your priorities on the Priority Worksheet here). It helps to do this at the beginning before arguments heighten. 6. Do Not Make Big Financial Decisions It may be tempting to sell an investment to raise cash or purchase a new home to solve short-term needs while the divorce is pending. However, making big decisions before knowing the details of the largest financial transition in your life and how it will affect your future, is extremely risky and very challenging logistically – in other words, a lot of room for errors. If a spouse has filed for divorce, making significant financial changes that are not approved by your partner may be grounds for contempt of court. 7. Stay Calm Emotions are known for taking over, pushing couples into divorce and heightening both conflict and costs during the process. If you have been going to marital counseling and continue to feel like you are not making the progress you need, it may be time to consider a different type of counseling. Discernment counseling helps you determine if you want to move forward with a divorce. If you or your spouse make the decision to divorce, a divorce coach can help you keep your emotions in check during the process, weigh various options, improve communication and create a well thought out plan for telling your children if applicable. Remember that once a divorce is final, agreements can be significantly harder to change, if at all. Surround yourself with friends and family that will help support you through the process and hire professionals that are best suited for you and your changing family. It is possible to plan for a smooth financial transition today that leads to a stronger tomorrow. Contact Amy at A.M. Financial for all of your Denver Divorce Financial Planning needs.", "author" : { "@type" : "Person", "name" : "max.melomed@gmail.com", "sameAs" : "", "url" : "https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/author/max-melomedgmail-com" }, "dateModified" : "07/02/2023", "datePublished" : "07/02/2023", "headline" : "7 Tips if a Divorce is on the Horizon", "image" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "height" : 400, "url" : "https://cdn2.hubspot.net/hubfs/39875594/Imported_Blog_Media/0cbd19_a47f2d62c506477182994a09f4d42517~mv2.webp", "width" : 750 }, "mainEntityOfPage" : "https://amf-divorce.com/our-blog/7-tips-if-a-divorce-is-on-the-horizon", "publisher" : { "@type" : "Organization", "logo" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "url" : "" }, "name" : "A.M. Financial", "url" : "amf-divorce.com" } } ```